Watching your child struggle with their mental health can be one of the most painful experiences as a parent. Whether they’re a young child showing signs of anxiety, a teenager navigating overwhelming emotions, or a grown adult facing their own inner battles, it can feel deeply personal, frightening, and at times, utterly exhausting.
You want to help. You want to fix it. You want to take their pain away. And in that effort, it’s all too easy to lose sight of yourself.
But here’s something important to remember: your wellbeing matters too.
“Am I Doing Enough?”
This is one of the most common thoughts I hear from parents in therapy. Alongside feelings of worry, fear and frustration often comes a quiet guilt. Am I helping enough? Did I miss the signs? Should I be stronger?
These thoughts are completely natural. You care deeply. But it’s important to know that supporting a child through mental health struggles is not about getting everything “right.” It’s about being there, consistently, with love and patience, even when you don’t have all the answers.
Sometimes, your calm presence matters more than any perfect solution.
Understanding What They’re Going Through
Mental health challenges can look different at different ages. A younger child may not have the words to express their feelings, showing distress through behaviour or withdrawal. A teenager may push you away just when they need you most. An adult child may hide their struggles out of fear of worrying you.
Whatever age your child is, they may be navigating:
- Anxiety or panic
- Depression or low mood
- Self-harm or suicidal thoughts
- Eating difficulties
- Identity issues
- Social struggles or bullying
- Trauma or grief
- Academic pressure or burnout
The key is to approach their experience with curiosity, not judgement. You don’t need to fully understand it to be a safe space for them. Phrases like:
- “I’m here for you.”
- “You don’t have to go through this alone.”
- “It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling.”
…can offer more comfort than we often realise.
The Risk of Losing Yourself
When your child is struggling, it’s instinctive to put your own needs to one side. But over time, this can lead to emotional burnout. You may notice:
- Feeling constantly anxious or helpless
- Losing sleep or appetite
- Neglecting your own hobbies, friendships, or wellbeing
- Becoming irritable or tearful
- Feeling isolated or unsupported
- Feeling like you’ve lost your sense of self
These are not signs of weakness. They’re signs that you need care too.
You cannot pour from an empty cup. Supporting your child doesn’t mean sacrificing your own health or identity, it means learning to walk alongside them while staying grounded yourself.
How to Support Them (Without Losing Yourself)
Here are some gentle reminders and suggestions to help navigate this tender balance:
1. Be Present, Not Perfect
You don’t need to fix everything. Just being emotionally available, listening, validating, and showing up—makes a powerful difference. It’s okay to say, “I don’t have all the answers, but I’m here.”
2. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
It’s okay to reach out to professionals, school counsellors, GPs, or mental health services. You’re not failing as a parent by doing so, you’re showing strength and responsibility. You don’t have to do this alone.
3. Set Gentle Boundaries
You are still a person, with your own emotional limits. It’s okay to say, “I need a moment to collect myself,” or to take breaks when you feel overwhelmed. Self-care isn’t selfish, it helps you stay steady when your child needs you.
4. Talk to Someone You Trust
Parenting a child with mental health challenges can be incredibly isolating. Whether it’s a friend, support group, or a therapist for yourself, having space to talk about how you’re feeling can be healing and necessary.
5. Celebrate the Small Wins
Notice the little moments of connection, courage, or progress. They matter. A day without a meltdown, a conversation that felt a little more open, a moment of calm, these are all signs of hope.
6. Practice Self-Compassion
You are doing your best in a really hard situation. Remind yourself: “I am allowed to feel tired. I am allowed to not have it all together. I am still a good parent.”
Therapy Can Support You, Too
If your child is in therapy, or you’re considering it, know that it’s also okay for you to seek support. Therapy can offer you a safe, non-judgemental space to process what you’re going through, make sense of your emotions, and learn how to support your child without losing yourself in the process.
Sometimes the most healing thing we can do is allow ourselves to be cared for, too.
🌼 Final Thoughts
There is no manual for parenting through mental health challenges. It’s messy, emotional, and often deeply painful. But it can also be a journey of connection, growth, and profound resilience, for both of you.
You are not failing. You are navigating something incredibly complex with love in your heart. And that matters more than anything.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, or if you simply need a space to breathe and be supported, therapy is here for you too. You don’t have to carry it all on your own.
Bridget
Bridget Jenkins Counselling 